The count goes on . . . 60-51

Here we are at the half way mark, the point of no return, so in the middle you feel sick! Does any of this make sense?

60 Do You Realize- The Flaming Lips
Yes, the song makes me want to cry and some people call it a sell out but does that matter?

59 Empty Skies - Kosheen
First time I heard this song was at 2:30 in the morning in a cab; it really blew my mind



58 Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Another song that had to be here someplace

57 P.I.M.P. - 50 Cent
He says, "bitch" at the end catapulting this song from someplace in to 80s to the 50s; the steel drums are also pretty damn cool

56 Rollout (My Business) - Ludacris
props for crazy rhymes!

55 The National Anthem - Radiohead
Sorry folks this is the highest position I was comfortable with the boys from Oxford occupying, let's face it this is no Karma Police of Paranoid Android or even Creep

54 Umbrella - Rehanna
How can you not love this song hella-ella-ella catchy!



53 Evil - Interpol
here's a band that has guys that look like Crispin Glover and Noah Whiley in addition to sounding less like Joy Division than ever before!

52 Chop Suey - System of a Down
Metal always finds it's way back!



51 Music - Madonna
The old lady is represented on this list too in a raunchy, acid state.

Salute to Sam Jackson

You are the man! You are an American original with best sounding swears in the country!



Nobody but nobody can make curse words sound so awesome. This is why I'm giving you a Red, White and True award, you made an art out of foul language, you are an innovator.




Let's face it Mr. Jackson people emulate your cursing ways; they want to be able to make swears sound as delicious as they sound coming from your mouth. People cheer when you say "Motherfucker"!

You are also a very fine actor who was robbed of an Academy Award for you Pulp Fiction job.

ATTENTION!

This is Scott Boras. Scott Boras is a sports agent.

Scott Boras is a Douche

Let's talk, CHOMP!

The Burger can in fact look as American as Old Glory and a good one is much more edible. Supposedly named for the town in New York State which is named after the city in Germany by some late 1800s yokel the burger is just ground beef between a sliced bun. It is widely accepted that it is usually served with lettuce tomato and onions with some mustard and ketchup; it's just a hot sandwich. The burger is now it's own enormous economy worth about $64,ooo,ooo,000 (that's billions, folks).
We have McDonalds, Burger King, Carl's jr., Jack in the Box, Wendy's, Hardy's, In-n'-Out Burger, Sonic and White Castle are just a few of the larger, well known companies that all have a respectable product which millions of people crave and consume on a daily basis.

Man, a burger can look good!

So as I guess the burger found it's self as the United States did after the Civil War and like America it didn't really become a super power until World War II; that's when the first McDonalds opened up in San Bernardino, CA. Now it wasn't until 1948 that the fast food concept hit and laid waste to the traditional method behind burger sales. Luckily the Burger didn't just go fast food on us; it remained a solid item on restaurants all around and pretty much every American cuisine serving place has their own variation of the sandwich. It gave us the privilege to enjoy a burger that was more hearty than the flimsy disk bagged up or tossed on a tray at the local BK lounge. With big burgers popular we not only got such triumphant creations as the Big Mac and the Whopper but we also got the gourmet burger!

Burgers done every which way one wanted, served with jack cheese, zucchini, avocado, dripping with pesto, crowned by bacon, done Hawaiian style, French style, Popeye style, smothered, with mushrooms, coated with blue cheese, pasted with teryaki, piled high with japenos, served on a silver plate with caviar, foie gras and made from Kobe beef, whatever your American heart desires! Whatever those clogged vanes need! You can burgers bigger than your head, bigger than your first born, bigger than the cow!


Listen I'm not here to start any fuss; I just want the burger to be embraced like the deity it is. I don't mean I want a burger made from Zues or Odin or the one god and I'm not going to create a shrine devoted to Hamburgers but in the country religious symbolism is everything you want it to be; it is all part of our narrative and mythology.

You can find your way across this country using burger joint the way a navigatior uses stars....We have munched Bridge burgers in the shadow of the Brooklyn Bridge and Cable burgers hard by the Golden Gate, Dixie burgers in the sunny South and Yankee Doodle burgers in the North....We had a Capitol Burger -- guess where. And so help us, in the inner courtyard of the Pentagon, a Penta burger.

Charles Kuralt, journalist

A Hamburger is warm and fragrant and juicy. A hamburger is soft and nonthreatening. It personifies the Great Mother herself who has nourished us from the beginning. A hamburger is an icon of layered circles, the circle being at once the most spiritual and the most sensual of shapes. A hamburger is companionable and faintly erotic. The nipple of the Goddess, the bountiful belly-ball of Eve. You are what you think you eat.

Tom Robbins

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Mark Twain

Special thanks to Mary's Danish for the album cover made back in the early 90s when irony still meant something.

Mr. Morrison you've gone Too Far

Was your life good enough to make a movie about? Jim Morrison asked a similar question at one point and back in the early 90s Oliver Stone decided in Jim's case the answer was yes. So he's had that going for him along with the music he made with the Doors being used in countless films and TV Shows "Apocalypse Now", "JFK", "Family Ties" even in the trailer for Disney/Pixar picture, "Monsters Inc." which is a kids movie. Side note about that, a guy I knew after seeing that preview revealed that he hoped that (Break on Through) song was in the movie.



Do I like Jim Morrison? No, I never met the man; in fact I believe he died before I was born in a bath tub in Paris or was it a night club in Paris or will we ever know? Do I like The music the Doors made? Yes I do, very much. So why all this then? Well, when I was a teenager I was heavily into the music and even read the biography, "No one Here Get's Out Alive" Part of that interest stayed with me and on rare occasion when I find myself at a karaoke bar it is not unusual to hear belt out "Road House Blues" or "Break On Through". There is a simple reason for this; it's easy to croon and growl through those ditties. Maybe if I ever sing again I'll try "Alabama Song"


Once I even dropped myself to the floor to complete the Jim Morrison effect resulting in a very bruised shoulder that hurt for days. Too much whiskey I suppose was the influence rather than Jim manifesting into my body but I digress.


Jim Morrison is the archetype rock star, making it what it is today. Before him there was some bad behavior from Jerry Lee Lewis but Morrison took it to a new level of bad behavior. Doing everything in excess which certain personalities are apt to do especially when the world is available to them. Every douchebag to shimmy into leather pants since has tried to be that man in some way and usually that way is the sex and drugs part. Face it the Rock n' Roll is just a front for most of the tools who prance about on stage singing some sort of unfortunate song. Have I ever got into leather pants you ask? Yes but they never fit so I don't count. I have heard and witnessed guys who start wearing leather pants seem to be taken over by them; they let the pants do the living for them. Did this kill Jim Morrison? No, it was heart problems related to liquor, drugs and fat department. Dennis Leary said it best "Jim Morrison -- I'm drunk, I'm nobody. I'm drunk, I'm famous. I'm drunk, I'm dead."



Here are a few quotes which his brilliance and stupidity:

"Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs."

"I am the Lizard King, I can do Anything"

"It's like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't know where your going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It's like the throw of the dice."

"Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts."

"Where's your will to be weird?"

"When you make your peace with authority, you become authority."

You can decide what stuff he was made of but I'll tell you looking over some of the stuff he was quoted he talked a lot about friends; it seemed important to him or he had his own meaning of the term. Maybe he thought it meant hot dogs, I don't know.
Anyway the Lizrd King was a reckless and hellbent man with his own chaotic agenda that from what I read and figure tore everything around him apart including himself.



Because I want to keep things simple here are my Top Five Doors Songs
1. L.A. Woman
2. Peacefrog/Blue Sunday
3. Road House Blues
4. Break On Through
5. Hello, I love you

Is it wrong that I wish I could sell Doors music through this blog?

Top 50 Scariest Movies

The Boston Globe put this list out recently about the their picks for the top fifty scariest movies of all time. Because you care what I think here's my reactions

#50 Arachnophobia
I can't imagine this is scary but just creepy things in my pants

#49 The Innocents
Didn't see it

#48 Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
I heard this movie sucked eggs and I thought the first one wasn't bad at all

#47 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
I understand the kid fears aspect of this entry but it should be omited

#46 The Wicker Man
Didn't see it

#45 The Blob
I could see this one at #50

#44 Rosemary's Baby
Yes, this movie was chilling

#43 The Brood
I didn't see it

#42 Event Horizon
Black Holes never got me to a theater

#41 Dawn of the Dead (2004
Scary . . . suspenseful is more like it, also a good vain of humor

#40 Eraser Head
So disturbing I'm still wacked out

#39 Amityville Horror
I never saw it

#38 Pet Cemetery
I don't believe it was scary

#37 Open Water
Who cares

#36 Nightmare on Elm Street
Classic 80s horror and a young Johnny Depp!

#35 The Fly (1986)
too gross, maggot babies are nasty

#34 Salem's Lot
When I saw this as a kid it scared me silly

#33 Gates of Hell
Never heard of it

#32 Session 9
Who Knew

#31 In The Mouth of Madness
I can only send kudos to the person who added this movie

#30 Altered States
Never saw it

#29 Mothman Prophesies
"Chappistick"

#28 The Mist
I never saw it

#27 Videodrome
Freaky shit I never saw

#26 Seven
Sort of, I guess

#25 War of the Worlds
NOT!
#24 Saw
The first of the franchise wasn't bad but Cary Elwes sounds like he's taking a dump the whole time

#23 Tale of Two Sisters (Korean
Didn't see it

#22 Silence of the Lambs
Very gripping

#21 Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This movie is responsible for everything after it
#20 Hellraiser
Somehow this one missed me

#19 The Changeling
Did not see it

#18 28 Days Later
Zombies on Crack!Great idea

#17 Jesus Camp
If this is on here it opens a whole new can of worms

#16 Jacob's Ladder
More startling than scary, introduced dudes with insanely fast shaking heads

#15 Jaws
Scared everybody

#14 The Exorcist
Another classic

#13 Quartermass and the Pit
Wow! I recall wayching this movie on Creature Double Feature on the TV as a little boy

#12 Cloverfield
Didn't care to see it

#11 The Shining
Kubric is a weirdo

#10 Audition
OH man did this movie scare some sense into me

#9 Halloween
Here it is

#8 Evil Dead II
It's violent and funny and violent and has an awesome soundtrack

#7 Dawn of the Dead (1978)
An innovator

#6 Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
I recall all my friends who saw this were scared stiff

#5 Alien
I like Aliens more

#4 The Ring
this was a chilling movie with a great twist

#3 Rec (Spanish)
Didn't see it

#2 Ju-On (Japanese)
didn't see it

#1 The Thing
I was told this movie was intense

Baseball Playoffs part 2

OK so my prediction of a Yankees sweep of the Rockies in the World Series will not come to pass thanks to Houston Street's ineffective outing but that's not a bad thing. We actually get the best of the best in the this years League Championship series; it's like something out of the 80's! The Phillies vs The Dodgers in the NL and the Yankees vs. The Angels in the AL both sound like classic match ups, no Marlins, no Rays, no Rockies, no Diamond Backs no 70s expansions and most interestingly, no Wild Card Team. When was the last time this happened in both leagues? Never!
Don't get me wrong I'm not anti Wild Card or expansion but I like to see these match ups. I suppose we could argue and say tht the Angels have no business being counted as non expansion but they're older than I am and I guess you could fuss about the Dodgers not counting because they moved to California but that just makes you very old ans stuck in the mud. Some people won't be happy until it's Cincinnati battling Pittsburgh for the championship because the American League is inferior and younger full of DHs and those long haired Oakland Athletics.

So where do we stand?

The Yankees are still going to the World Series because they are mighty with the stick and like I said before; their pitching is enough. The Angels will win a couple games but I don't think they can keep up. But who knows, maybe the Yanks can't beat the rally Monkey in the post season.

The National League has a rematch of last year's match up and I think he Phillies will out match the Blue boys with much hitting and quality pitching. Of course the Dodgers were so relaxed verse the Cardinals maybe they'll stay loose and waltz right into the World Series. I hope Pedro Martinez gets his start this go around and faces Manny Ramirez.

So as long as it's not an all Southern California match up it should be a good championship.

Play Ball!

Isn't It Romantic

The other day I heard a misguided youth refer to her girlfriend's relationship being like Sid and Nancy. I immediately thought she meant that they were strung out and bad news but she didn't she went on to say how perfect they were for each other and how punk rock they were. I then moved out of ear shot and shook my head.




This description made me wonder if if she even knew that Sid Vicious most likely murdered his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen? He was never found guilty because he did what any smart junkie would do; he O.D. After all it's better to be dead than do without one's heroin.



So how do a talentless wanker and a skanky groupie become an image of romance? On a punk rock level they do look damn cool together, he with his spiky, jet black hair, comical sneer and his keen fashion sense and her with the bleached blond hair, heavily made up face and torn fishnet stockings do conjure up the archetypes of the era.



Of course the idea might be the attraction to youth, a couple who never got old, died tragically, died violently died stupidly barely similar but totally different than say Romeo and Juliet and all their ill fated, literary contemporaries. Still I guess the iconographic images persist over what was real; hell they even made a movie about them starring Gary Oldman called "Sid and Nancy". They are in fact a very romantic ideal in the whole rock n' roll mythology but let's face it if they weren't famous nobody would have ever known or cared.

I'm now beginning to think that maybe we need a new rock couple to explode upon us in a gruesome rose of death and glorious exposition of pop culture beauty.

Got Clap?

I've mentioned this a couple times to music loving friends and they all just laugh but I am a sucker for hand clapping in a song. It's as if the the rhythm and groove of a song is so powerful, so strong, so good the other dudes in the band have to keep time too; they are so invested in the beat their bodies take over. The organic sound of flesh on flesh and be booming or it can be a whispering golf type.


Odd and fine examples

"Make it Clap" Busta Rhymes
"Jack and Dian" John Cougar (yeah! that's right I called him by the stage name)
"Horizons" LTJ Bukem
"Close to Me" The Cure
"Well Alright!" The Hives
"Punk" Gorillaz (there's also foot stompin' in this one)

I know there are many others but off the top of my head that's all I got

Baseball Playoffs 2

So not onto the American League, the league a little closer to my Heart.

New York Yankees (103-59)
The insane batting line up that includes Mark Teixeira (League leading 39 Home Runs and 122 Runs batted In) Alex Rodriguez who missed a month of playing time hit 30 homers, barely knocked in 100 runs, the intangible Derek Jeter, a rejuvenated Johnny Damon and a fat and lucky Nick Swisher. They have 7 guys with over 20 home runs; they murder the ball and I can't say any other team can compete with them for power.
Aside from the big lefty C.C. Sebathia and his 19 wins and 3.37 Earned Run Average the rest of the pitching staff is adequate for a team that scores as many runs as the Yankees do. Their bullpen is solid mainly do to Mariano Rivera and his 44 saves.
The Yanks will win if they play relaxed and perform average.

Boston Red Sox (95-67)
With a very fast lead off hitter (70 Stolen Bases) with a .301 Batting Average in Jacoby Ellsbury the team should be bale to create runs with great bat handlers like Dustin Padroia and Kevin Yukilis (.305 BA). Their two biggest power threats Jason Bay and David Ortiz have both gone through big slumps this seasons but seem to be hitting as well as they can heading into the playoffs.
When the Red Sox starting pitching is on they are the are dominant and better than any other in the American League. John Lester has struck out 225 batters and a solid 3.41 ERA to back up his 15 wins while Josh Beckett had a very good total of 17 wins. The Bullpen has been phenomenal and got another good year from their closer Johnathan Papelbon (38 Saves)
This team can win the Al Pennant but they will have to get hot and stay focussed.

Minnesota Twins (87-76)
The team that does all the small things and does them soundly. The Twins are the hottest team going into the palyoffs which could possibly get them into the secnd round of the playoffs. Led by catcher, MVP candidate and batting champ Joe Mauer (.366 28HR 96RBI)the Twins offense can be very consistent and able to keep adding 1 run at a time. They do have some power with Morneau who hit 30HR and Cuddyer with his team leading 32 big flies unfortunately Justin Morneau is injured so more pressure mounts on Justin Kubel and his 103 RBI, 28 HRs and .300 BA. On the bases they are very sound and can steal a base or two when needed.
Starting pitching has not been the Twins strong suite this season with only two players making over 30 starts but they do have a 15 game winner in Scott Baker. Luckily for Minnesota if they have the lead in the ninth they will win because of their excellent closer Joe Nathan who saved 47 games.
For The Twins to win they will need to be perfect; a tall order.


Los Angeles Angels (97-65)
The best of the west again are the Angels and doing like they always do it, with aggressive hitting and running getting from first to third, stretching singles to doubles. They lead with Chone Figgins who gets on base and scores mostly do to Kendry Morales (34HR and 108RBI)and Bobby Abreu (103 RBI). Vladimir Guerrero has returned but he still swings at everything and whether he'll be effective in the playoffs has yet to be seen.
The Angels pitching good; it has been for ever since they won the World series 7 years back in 2002. Jared Weaver has 16 wins and has been the most consistent guy in the rotation with a 3.75 E.R.A.. Joe Saunders also has 16 wins while Brian Lackey who's been their best in the past had an average season but was also injured. A late season acquisition in Scott Kazmir can make their starting pitching very good if he is healthy. Their bullpen took a big hit when they lost the single season saves leader (Francisco Rodriguez) to free agency but they replaced him with a very reliable Brian Fuentes.
For the Angels to go forward they have to defy history and play very aggressively.

The Red Sox will face off against the Angels again and more than likely the Red Sox will win the series again.
I don't see the Twins winning a single game against the mighty Yankees who may give up 6 runs a game but will score 10.

So once again we have the Yankees and the Red Sox and at this point it's not as easy as the Boston team choking on the curse handed to them for generations. If Swisher misplays balls or Damon has trouble with that throw from left or Teixeira can't beat a ground ball, if A-Rod has his typical ineffective post season the series will go to the Sox. If New York tee's off on Boston's inconsistent pitching of late, the Sox will not be able to catch up, not this year.
I predict the Yankees winning the American league

Baseball Playoffs

So within a couple days the baseball playoffs will begin and so will my churning stomach. All the 8 teams have qualified with many familiar faces including the World champs from last year the Philadelphia Phillies which is a good place to start my preview.

The Phillies (93-69)
Fueled by a line up that includes 4 hitters with over 30 Home Runs and one of those guys (Ryan Howard) has over 40 the batting order can go up against any in the National League. They also have Jimmy Rollins with his 20+ round trippers to boot which is above his average production.
Their Pitching is interesting seeing as they have a rejuvenated Pedro Martinez who has gone 5-1 in 9 starts and the mid season acquisition and last year's American Cy Young winner Cliff Lee who was all but untouchable for the first month with the team. I don't know if this staff has a real ace but it does have a bevy of numbers 2 and 3 guys with 10 to 12 wins each. Their closer however has been a complete mess which can easily cause a team to go nowhere fast in October.

The St. Lewis Cardinal (91-71)
With their mid season trade for Matt Holliday they became a solid offensive team that is as always led by Albert (next player to be outed for steroids)Pujols. Without Pujols this line up is pretty anemic however and wouldn't win 70 games.
St. Louis has some damn good pitching with Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter both having splendid season. Carpenter missed a month of ball and has 17 wins, that's very impressive. Their bullpen is outstanding as well with a solid closer in Ryan Franklyn

The Los Angeles Dogers (94-68)
The team that found out it didn't need it's super star Manny Ramirez to win big as he was suspended 50 games this season for using banned substances. The uninvolved members of the team went on to be productive Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp who both knocked in over 100 Runs.
The dodgers are another team like the Phillies that don't have one standout guy to be the center of their starting rotation but they do have a really excellent core of relief guys to help out

The Colorado Rockies (92-70)
They are a hot team with a lot of different guys helping out, Short Stop Troy Tulowitzky with 31 home runs and the perennial Rockie Todd Helton with a .323 Batting Average. They don't have the best line up but they get things done.
In Denver pitching is never easy to get done but this team has a few guys with some wins, De La Rosa has 16, Jason Marquis has 15 and Jimenex also has 15. Their closer Houston Street is back from injuries and has a good year for the team in the mountains.

So what do I think?

I see the the Rockies beating the reigning world champion Phillies and I see the Dodgers getting beat by the Cardinals.
If I'm still right I think the Rockies will beat the Cardinals to go on to the world series!

These Songs are Getting Meaty and Beany!

Here's another group of ten in my AWESOME top 100 of the decade we are in . . .


70. Down with the Sickness by Disturbed
I initially didn't like this song but time and the songs appearance in random moments in my life has made it significantly more rad, more bad ass!
69. Vertigo by The Libertines
No, no not the U2 song which does indeed appear on this list at some point but the song by a band that is the British answer to the Strokes. They may be a bit more cool though.
68.I'm Shipping Up To Boston by Dropkick Murpheys
Points for being from Boston, points for being the theme in "The Departed" and points for singing about losing a leg.
67. The Bitter End by Placebo
Placebo will make you wear black turtlenecks and this song is no exception
66. Out Here All Night by Damone
Another Boston group and another kick ass song! This song came at me from nowher to rock my pathetic soul!
65. Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt by We Are ScientistsCapturing some desperate, young moments this band won't even know what this song means in several years. So precious

64. Walking With Thee by Clinic
Faceless, moody, creepy and very hypnotic, Clinic get's a solid middle of the chart nod.



63. One-Armed Scissor by At The Drive-In
The band that became The Mars Volta got it done on this number. Low down and anrgy style.
62. Crazy Bitch by Buck Cherry
You knew it was going to be here someplace but you didn't venture to guess. By the way listen to the new version if you want to laugh.




61. Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz
The dude from Blure wound up with a damn successful side project! Catchy songs, cartoon alter egos and rhythms that stick with you into the deep, deep sleep.