The Rock Look!

The Rock Star: simplified transformations.
Before Elvis there were no real rock stars. There was more talent and there were other famous musicians but he became the icon, the brightest of them all. He did his hair like a trucker, wore jeans like an inmate at the state penitentiary and it seemed original before ift became the rock-a-billy uniform even to this day. Later he wore big blazers and then jumpsuits but that’s also the rise and fall of the genre.
After Elvis the pop model changed though he remained; the sixties started with suits as a respectable turn but ended with psychedelic gypsies scaring the hell out your parents.



Let’s be clear, would you like it if your daughter brought home some dude who looked like Jimi Hendrix and you didn’t know who Jimi Hendrix was? There were plenty of other hippies stinking up the world with their look that successfully alienated everyone over 30; would you let Janis Joplin use your shower? Would you let Gerry Garcia drop a deuce in the bano? It's a look that still annoys everybody, dirty and stoned.


After that look things toned down a bit until David Bowie and glam got hot for a bit introducing make up and six inch heeled boots for men. This was taken to the extreme ridiculousness with KISS and lord knows it was very successful for them. Hell they had dolls made out of their images! Ten inch person, four inch tongue! Who knew that music turned into a walking talking cartoon would do so well?


So where do you go from larger than life 70s wackiness? You go to bigger hair and start applying makeup like your girlfriend does and you become Mötley Crüe which explodes into Poison which in some ways was just borrowing from the New Wave movement a few years prior. This particular look was huge; there hundreds of these bands with their sort of androgynous look and hair to heaven.





It’s a troubling sign when your rock stars look like trannies so it was refreshing to get the anti-rock star with the implementation grunge which featured Dr. Martins, Chuck Tailors, cargo shorts and whatever you found at a thrift store. Not glamorous at all which made some wonder if that zonked kid next door was really a successful musician. You can make the argument that the Grunge look was really just the Punk look with a flannel shirt thrown on top and maybe you're right grunge was so much about giving the finger to white guys in suits as it was giving the finger to white guys in hair spray. Punk was about living in garbage and Grunge was about living with junk.




In the Hip hop world everything was going low key as well, MC Hammer was no longer as awesome as Dr. Dre who looked like any guy who didn't want to be messed with.
Besides Marilyn Manson’s Dope Show or My Chemical Romance’s "Black Parade" Gothic Bowie make out session the look of rock has remained humble even if the performer is not. So are jeans and T-shirts prevailing with variable cuts and bad hairstyles? No likely, something else will come around whether it’s a Devo copy, another run at suit and ties or something I can’t even imagine the Rock Star will transform and personally I like it when it’s over the top.



Granted there are a lot of sub movements like the New Romantics which Prince made his own and then spawned a million little copy cats.
I'm intentionally leaving out pop acts because folks like Michael Jackson, Britney Spears and Madonna need image to perpetuate their musical fame to a point where the look is more important than the sound.

American Movies

Please enjoy this great scene in American cinema from "True Romance" starring a still plausible Christian Slater and Gary Oldman at his finest.

I don’t like steroids in sports even though it makes humans do awesome things, things that they couldn’t quite get to before. The deeds themselves aren’t super human but the frequency is, night after night of high stress 100mph fastballs, 70 odd home runs in a season or playing those extra 3 years. I’m only talking about baseball because it doesn’t seem to concern other sports even though without the substances used Football wouldn’t exist as we know it. Every player would be suspended and fined.What I want to talk about here though is incentive to not do the performance enhancers. What would make an athlete stop? In the past year we saw Manny Ramirez take the fall and get suspended 50 games that didn’t hurt his team. Why Manny? Who did he forget to pay off? Anyway, he lost playing time, he lost opportunities to set records and to make money and his name will forever be linked to roids and this era of not money ball but juice ball. (Should a General Manager be hailed as making due with no payroll when his stars Jason Giambi and Miguel Tejada have both admitted to or are heavily linked to steroids?)

The point I wanted to get to is the cost for being caught should be heavier and matter in a real way to teams. They say hit ‘em where it hurts in the pocket but I would say these guys know that they will make more money and eventually get a bigger contract. I propose that a player who gets caught should be banned from the play offs. This would show fans a player’s true colors and ultimately an owner’s as well. People would get to see if the owner wants to win or just have a star who can sell regular season tickets. It would also add some vinegar to a player like Andy Pettite who claimed he was just trying to heal faster to help his team. It’s a lame excuse anyway because aren’t all athletes competitive by nature? (excluding Ricky Williams who just wants to work a Radio Shack and get high with Lenny Kravitz but that’s football) It’s as lame as David Ortiz claiming he didn’t know why he tested positive a few years ago. The incentive not to cheat has to be stronger than the reward of cheating. Maybe a player should be liable for breach of contract if they test positive and be responsible for paying back everything over the league minimum. This may not change a thing of course because the Player’s Association will find some way of canonizing every player who tests positive for HGH, testosterone, estrogen, or whatever it is they look for; I don’t have to be an expert in this field because I’m not getting paid for it.

I don’t know if athletes can see what can happen to them outside the game either, look at Ken Caminiti, dead at 41. This was an athlete, an MVP baseball player not your fat, lazy dad who drinks beer and lard all night long. Maybe the solution is to have the game played by robots.

RIP Ken

The Post, Post Season

Baseball Award season is upon us now that the important things are behind us. Sometimes I think the only reason they give out these awards is so the player’s agents can ask for more money. Honestly with the unbalanced schedule and inter-league play it makes judging how awesome a player is a bit inconsistent. I mean Albert Pujols plays a lot of games against Pittsburgh and Houston while never facing two of the best pitchers of the year because they were on his team (Carpenter and Wainwright). These Awards are also popularity contests unfortunately as we can see with the gushing that happens when you mention Minnesota’s Joe Mauer; yes he had a good year and plays for his home town team but does that mean the writers need to get on their knees when they mention his name? Can anybody in the Yankees line up be eligible? No, because that team is built that sooner or later a pitcher will throw a meatball and give up a three run shot. Can anybody on Washington’s 59-103 win club get the MVP plaque? No because the only player anybody can think of on that team is their #1 draft pick Stephen Strasburg and he hasn’t played in the majors yet.

So what do I think an MVP should be? Somebody who scores a lot and knocks in a lot of runs, somebody who is consistent and is fundamentally solid a player that is always involved in the rally, their home runs count for something more than distance and their stolen bases eventually lead to scoring. I know the case for power hitters is consistent and strong because a guy who hits 30 + dingers a year can be a one man rally but those guys can also be pitched around and some are prone to strike outs and a lower batting average. I'm totally biased but a guy like the Red Sox' Dustin Padroia who won the AL MVP last year fits my mold very well. So why not Derek Jeter? This year wasn't one of hi best and . . . see above.

Does he really need an award?

http://tinyurl.com/y99ljhw

If they are a pitcher they need to be able to go the distance not just 6 innings if they are starting, they must be able to subdue teams with monster line ups, a closer must be all but perfect and able to go more than one inning when needed. Those latter rules can apply to the Cy Young award as well.

I think I’m old fashioned when it comes to the type of game I like and the type of player I like. I understand why the game changed and I accept it but I miss those games prior to the late eighties when pitchers would thro complete games with a higher frequency and before all the hitters got huge with “performance enhancers”.

Did you know players pay other players to help pad their stats?

Adam Wainwright 19-8, 212 SO, 2.63 ERA 233 IP but 1 complete Game?

00s Cuntdaown 50-41!

Oh My God, were moving into the top half of my awesome countdown which means that from here on out everything get second guessed even by myself. Does it mean my reasoning has to be any better? nah


50 Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley
This Should be a 90s song but fortunate for us it's a 00s song that may contain some of the most horribly selfish lyrics ever. Actually this band should be a 90s band complete with a child star turned singer in her adult life which seems ironic but really isn't just like the 90s



49 Gold Lion by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
This is what those lazy Williamsburg hipster kids are up to when their not drinking all your Pabst's Blue Ribbon or smoking outside cafes. Gold Lion is a very cool song that made Karen O into Siouxi Sioux for a bit.

48 Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups
If the Smashing Pumpkins . . . err Billy Corgan ot over himself this would have been their song but reality is and the Silversun Pickups picked up where the Pumpkins left off after Siamese Dream.

47 Filthy/Gorgeous by Scissor Sisters
I am allowed to like modern disco and you are not allowed to argue

46 Big Brat by Phantom Planet
This is the only good song the band ever recorded and they did wonders with the brass and the bounce.



45 By The Way by Red Hot Chili Peppers
An entry by one of the biggest bands of the last 20 years the Chili Peppers have definitely done better music but not in this decade.

44 Vertigo by U2
Screw you, I like this song! I like it more than anything off "All You Can't Leave Behind" or anything they've done since then. Even if Bono can't count he does it awesome style

43 Rise by The Cult
Back from the 80s with a vengeance, Rise is a rocker that pays homage to their earlier work but builds on it with loud guitar and bad ass vocals and tambourine.

42 Fit But You Know It by The Streets
Here's the most comedic song in the top 50 and it all rhymes.




41 Fining Out True Love Is Blind by Louis XIV
I have a friend who looks like all these guys smashed into one. This a good little 70s sounding ditty about a they guy who wants to do every girl in the building. It sounds a bit T-Rex like and that's the charm of it as well as the boyishness that humors.

Basebal Stuff 2

Some thoughts on the game. So the Yankees won the World Series as I thought they would but wished they wouldn’t. They made it look so easy; it was as though even in their second loss they could have come back if they really wanted to win on the road rather than their brand new ballpark. The stadium which if the Yanks weren’t so tradition would be renamed George Steinbrenner Stadium once the old man passes into the Elysian Fields and can get all the top players he wants no matter what contract they’re locked into.

Tim Lincecum: Pot Head. They’re really isn’t anything shocking about this at all but it is unfortunate that he didn’t have the forethought to at very least conceal his weed and pipe which just left him with a speeding ticket on I5. That’s also strange to me, doesn’t everybody speed on I5, isn’t it the highway where 100mph is staying with the flow?

Albert Pujols needs to come out and admit he’s been juicing this whole time especially with new hitting instructor Mark McGuire joining he’s team the Cardinals. I would also say that their manager Tony LaRussa needs to step forward and admit the he thinks players should be taking steroids as he’s the one hiring Big Mac or The Beef Injection we could call Mr. McGuire.

Alex Rodriguez- You don’t deserve you’re ring; it should be the punishment you get for all your cheatin’ ways. In fact they should strike your name from the championship roster. Would players still get on the ‘roids if they weren’t allowed to play in the post season once caught nor would they be eligible for any awards such as the Cy Young or the MVP. How would that change the attitude?

L.A. Dodgers - More Mannywood! Mr. and Mrs. McCourt will be divorcing thanks to Jamie’s infidelity with her chauffeur . . . that’s awesome rich person stuff! Do you think chauffeurs consider that job hazard or fringe benefit whichever way you want to see it when they start driving professionally?

The Red Sox – What the hell man! What are you guys going to do to compete in 2010? Is it going to be a rebuilding year? Keep Ellsbury, Padroia, Yukilis, Beckett, Lester, Buchholz, Victor Martinez, Papelbon, Ortiz and start from there. The catching, 3rd base, the corner outfield positions, short stop and some pitching that’s all that needs tooling. Ha!

Free Agents:
John Lackey will wind up on the Mets or Seattle

Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui are in the same boat and there’s only one life jacket. They are both aging, both play the same positions for the same team Left Field and Designated Hitter, do the Yankees really want both of them back? They had comparable seasons but it would seem that only one will stay with the champs but what do I know?

Jason Bay is being an idiot and not taking the Red Sox money as I don’t think he realizes that Matt Holliday looks very attractive right now. Mr. Bay may find himself wondering what happened if he doesn't sign with a real team soon.

Matt Holliday may stay with the Cardinals because hitting with Pujols is so fun and his new hitting coach may have some magic beans for him to get much bigger and stronger by April or he could be a Red Sox stud or fill in as a younger option for the Yankees. Can he play hardball in the A.L. though? He was tepid during is Oakland days but he had no protection and was probably wondering how to get out of the East Bay the moment he saw the stadium.

Blue Jeans

Listen jeans are American and I don't care what kind of Euro fit you you sport you want to be American when you wear them! It doesn't matter if they are made in other countries or designed by non Americans all jeans want to be from the U.S.!

The cut doesn't matter, the color doesn't matter and price doesn't matter; it's all about freedom from slacks, khakis, corduroys, dresses, skirts, jump suits, knickers and even kilts!
You put on your jeans or so help me American god I will shoot you! Jeans bring us all together from the Miners who dug for gold back in 1849 who got their patriotism on from the originator Levi Strauss to the drug lovin' Hippies of the 1960's to Brooke Shields who made apparently wore just "designer" and nothing else in her teens in the 80s to rich guys who thought jeans and blazers gave them street cred to rap acts who wore their American pride around their thighs and baggy showing the world that American's truly are lazy. May America bless you all!




My favorite pair of jeans may be the style I wear now, low rise boot cut from Diesel, putting them on for the first time was like stepping into a second skin, like coming home; being totally comfortable and feeling excellent.



My worst jeans were a pair of red, baggy fit from The Gap. They weren't horrible but in retrospect it was damn goofy. Embrace the time right?