Stupid Head Game

I am an owner of a laptop computer. I use it as a desk top. I am ashamed to bring it out into the public where I will be in that weird laptop cult . . . especially at a cafe. I worry that I will suddenly stare at the screen and not have a single thing I want to do. The Internet will cease to be something I can't imagine being interesting or useful, all my finances will be in nice kept order, my ideas for writing will all be blank, my video games will be completed and my pictures and music will be tiresome.
It is a 21st century anxiety that shouldn't exist . . . not in my world. This is also related to my ire directed toward cell phones; I do have one and I depend on it like a little baby needing mother's milk. It just makes me a slave to communicational whims and paranoias. If you don't understand just think about that time your S.O. didn't text back right away, how crazy did you get? If you didn't freak out, congrats; you're a very chill and understanding person that I would like to know . . . maybe even date (not really, I'm off the proverbial market, yes this is a disclaimer because I don't want to send any mixed signals)
What will be next I wonder, live feeds from your cyberdata implant that never go off line; everything you do will be broadcast for the world to watch and judge. Just imagine you're a man, your implant is live and you're at a bar, you see a woman, dozens, hundreds maybe thousands of messages start coming into your head on what people think of her appearance and what you should do to get someplace with her. You're at the supermarket and people send you messages about what's on sale, corporations send you messages about what to buy once you enter, people send messages about horrible season we're having for berries, recipes are sent to you. Overload? Nope, the brain can handle it, we only use 10% remember? This is what the other 90% was meant for!
So there you have it I won't have to worry about having a lap top in public because my head will be one!

PROBLEM SOLVED!!!

Two mixed up

Your skort turns me off, like the spork and the mullet; it’s really just a tease. It is sort of the opposite of a mullet though which is business up front and party in the back; the skort is sexy/cute skit in front and hiker in back and totally a turn off. Is the chick afraid of a strong breeze or quick sexy times? Is she afraid to show the world that she is a chick who likes to climb stuff like rocks and rock hard dudes? I mean both would get a rise from me on their own but together they leave me irritated sense of forced duality much like cafés that become bars in the evening. The spork on the other hand is just an over achieving spoon with fork envy; it really can’t stab into anything with the same depth. It all comes down to synergy and my basic disgruntlement towards the notion.

Is there a cool synergy name for the tuxedo T-shirt? Shirtxedo?