You're such a baby!

When English children whine they are the whiniest children in the history of whiny children. I don’t wish them any harm but I do think their whininess as children comes back to them as adults when their own children start whining. They sound is so effete, it all sounds like spoiled crying as if their Earl Grey wasn’t steeped for 5 minutes exact. This is not to say that these children’s concerns aren’t legitimate; it’s not like they just cry about only liking chips and not their fish. I suppose however being British is enough to make anyone whiny.
To be fair English whining compared to American whining is more tempered; they don’t have the outrageous tantrums which make our young seem so spectacular. There is nothing quite so horrific as seeing a child screaming so hard their fat, little face is red.
Maybe I should travel the world to find out the true whine of each culture's children or maybe I should just listen to White Lion's "When the children Cry"

Now What?

The novelty of the 21st century is over
The dawning of the teens are here
I expect some laughs and I expect wars
I expect to see things progress past 2012
I expect plenty of stupidity
I expect technology to improve and ruin our lives
I expect to feel old and look young

Trivial Award of the Decade

I'm calling this decade a tie with Jack White and Jay-Z, both had their hands in everybody's action, as producers to artists. Both were born with different names and both collaborated with Alicia Keyes



Jack White had 5 albums with the White Stripes, a couple with The Raconteurs, one with his newest band The Dead Weather, he produced the Von Bondies he sang and produced Loretta Lynn, he secretly sang with the Electric Six, did some tracks for the Cold Mountain soundtrack, appeared in several movies as himself, as a traveling musician and even as Elvis. He did the theme song on "Quantum of Solace"



Jay- Z produced everybody in hip hop, launched Rihanna upon us, made Beyoncé's star even bigger while rapping along with her, he made the Yankees cap more famous than a Yankee, took over record companies and sports teams and made more money than you ever will. Jay-Z released 7 albums of his own He appeared in some movies. He did a new theme song for New York City.

00s Countdown: The Top 10!!!

Yours is not mine and that's the important thing here as we get down to the nitty gritty of the countdown, the final 10 songs that seem to me to be the ones that deserve to be. If you read the top 10 albums of the decade this will make more sense.

10. It's a Wonderful Life by Sparklehorse
Dreamy, somber and lyrically a bit off, "It's a Wonderful Life" has nothing to do with the Jimmy Stewart movie you see every December. It was a hit but the song sticks in the mind life the odor of fresh bread in the morning.




9. Young Folks By Peter Bjorn and John
PB & J caught your ear with a whistle and a eerie mix of melancholy and hope. Theygot into your ear with that sweet echoing whistle that eaither hooked you or revolted you or in many a case, both. It's just a simple boy meets girl song that could as well in 70s R&B format as it did in modern rock format.



8. Paper Planes by M.I.A.
Thanks to the Clash, M.I.A. got huge! The "Straight to Hell" sample taken out of context is not so sad but still cold to the spine. So she says this song is about driving a cab but I think this means something different than it does to me.



7. Hash Pipe by Weezer
I could have gone with "Beverly Hills" but this one returned the 90s sweater wearing geeks to the limelight. The song is driving and could be tough if it weren't by Weezer.



6. Lose Yourself by Eminem
Embracing movie magic Mr. Mathers got an Oscar for this song about wanting fame, getting fame and living life unhappy. Why this song over, "The Real Slim Shady" or "Without me"? Eminem keeps his habds to himself rather than taking off color jabs at his peers. I never saw "8 Mile" but I hear he lives in a trailer and dates Brittany Murphy



5. Welcome Home by Coheed & Cambria
Welcome to the world of Rock n' Roll heaven! It is epic and powerful like the hammer of the gods, yes I mean Led Zeppelin. The songs makes you desire a long drive preferably in a van with a wizard painted on the side.




A note about the top four: An argument for each of these songs can be made for any of the top 4 slots including number one; it really depends on what constitutes your ranking system for me it's just arbitrary which may or may not send one into a violent rage over the miscellaneous order they've been presented with. I still don't know if any of these songs will be thought about in a few years or if there will be such a backlash against the worst decade ever that all things 2000s will be snarled at like the 1970s were for nearly 30 years. It's possible this is a reason for the lack of any hip-hop in the final four; the music even to it's biggest fans has always had a disposable tag on it. I've entered discussion with rap fans about older songs and am usually put down by a scoff about the song being old and not worth bring up. One can make the same argument with dance music as well, while the song is hot it is the greatest thing thing ever but once it's been overplayed and something else has come along, the piece is discarded until it comes back around at weddings and retromance TV shows, nostalgia programming if you will. So why does rock get to han around for longer? Are fans of the genre stuck in their youth? Is rock n' roll's lexicon so brilliantly better than others? Are rock fans fetishists? I don't know but it does seem that for past ten to fifteen years that even the most mediocre bands like Quiet Riot, Great White or Ratt can ride the retread music circuit playing small gigs for quite some time; there's always some dude that wants to hear, "Round and Round" just one more time.

4. Last Night by The Strokes
Sing along with the strokes song about being a 20 something year old dude wanting something he can't put his finger on. This is New York rock in the 2000s, love it or hate it it was low-fi and reminiscent of the 1970s.



3. Rehab by Amy Winehouse
She won so many Grammys for singing about loving her vice that the weight snapped her brittle bones. Her 60s flavored R&B tale was catchy and seemed to hit a chord with people who love to drink.

She may never win a beauty contest but at least she's got pipes

2. SexyBack by Justin Timberlake
Even I wanted to dance when I heard this disco! Some songs have a life of their own creating lingo and small economies, this track is one of them. Though the song isn't really about anything other than being cool and it's all good.

Justin showing us how to get your Sexyback

1. Seven Nation Army By The White Stripes
What can I say about this raw, angry, heartbroken song that has a massive thundering bass drum beat carrying you through to end? It has a "bass" line that is hypnotic a guitar solo that feels like the brae of wild stallion struggling for it's life and lyrics that are cryptic yet very understandable like all the best.

The Greatest Movies of the Millennium

Film has not been any good since the introduction of sound but without sound there wouldn't be all the awesome explosions we get to hear or more importantly witty dialogue. Where does the last ten years of film stand in comparison with the "golden age" of Hollywood some 60 years ago or the the 1970s when everything suddenly got very real or very fantastic but looked believable (Star Wars)? Where does the last ten years stand against the 1980s when the teen flick got reinvented and everything was a cold war allegory or the 1990s which was almost something of a lost decade and full of big explosions and spectacle (Titantic, Independence Day), and a new generation of directors who learned from the students of film (Danny Boyle, Quentin Terantino, Paul Thomas Anderson, Steven Soderbergh, Kevin Smith) creating the "Independent" movie genre? I can't answer that question because it's too soon and movies have a ways of creeping into the uncontentious and become part of our culture over the years. Fight Club would be a prime example of a movie that critics didn't care for, didn't do very well at the box office but everybody knows ten years later and is even part of some folk's daily lives and philosophies. I don't know the last time I heard somebody talk about watching, "Shakespeare In Love" recently but that could just be the circle I run with. The 2000's continues the 1990's tradition of turning music video directors into Motion Picture directors like David Fincher, Spike Jonze and unfortunately McG. I suppose is a natural progression now especially when nobody has an attention span of more than 3 minutes.
Does a decade's best movies represent that era? Not always, especially when it takes so long to make a film from the time the script is started until opening night could be several years even more than half a decade. So while your movie that you think is quintessencially a 2000s movie may have been inspired and wrote in the 90s.
So Here is my top ten list and let me tell you I'm sure there are a multitude of films that I never saw that might be included but so much for that.

These movies are in no particular order:

In The Mood for Love Dir Wan Kar Wai
Heartbreaking, beautiful to watch and riveting this movie moves me every time I watch it. The sequel 2046 is also very good but a little more . . . out there.




The Departed Dir Martin Scorsese
The most wicked movie of the decade bringing the Irish mob into the light. great performances by all, even though Leo and jack are the weakest things about the movie and I'm not just talking about their accents. Alec Baldwin is very humorous as is Mark Wahlberg.



X-Men Dir Bryan Singer
The rebirth of superhero movies has it's success due to this movie. Bryan Singer isn't an action director but knows how to tell a story and create an allegory very well. He takes comic books and makes the story more accessible to everybody.



High Fidelity Dir Stephen Frears
Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Black! Actually this movie is one that has always spoke to me on an almost embarrassingly personal level. Music and Love. john Cusack does his thing while Catherine Xeta Jones, Lenny Kravitz's ex wife and The Boss all show up for nice little rolls.




Batman Begins Dir Christopher Nolan
Batman is back and the franchise is very, very healthy. Even darker that the Tim Burton movies which in the time were considered dark but that's all due to the 1960s TV show.



Virgin Suicides Dir by Sophia Coppola
This movie may have not really been directed by Sophia Coppola for it could have been her better known father, Frances Ford or her former husband Spike Jonze we will never know. I will say this though, this film moves along like a memory, maybe yours, maybe mine but it captures the idea perfectly. Also Air puts forth a dynamite soundtrack for this movie.



Amelie Dir Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Everybody loves a French girl especially when she is Audrey Tautou and she is too shy talk to the one she loves.



Superbad Dir. Greg Mettola
This was the funniest movie I saw in the past ten years which counts for a lot so screw you. McLovin will be a part of film legend.




Casino Royal Dir. Martin Campbell
Jame Bond is redefined by Daniel Craig as tough as nails spy with a penetrable heart, gone is the effete, suave ladies man with tons of gadgets



Lord Of The Rings (Trilogy) Dir. Peter Jackson
Epic and yes all movies count as one!

00s Countdown Continued! 20-11

The top 20 songs are here and they are not your favorites, in fact you may have never heard of a few of them but that's because this list is compiled by a music snob who likes to rock out and get down.

20. Gold Digger by KanyeWest
Getting help from Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles, Kanye (that jackass) West broke into mainstream heaven with a song that uses the N word about as often as you typical DMX rap.

19. Leda Automica by Year Long Disaster
Rock from the 70s never quite dies and this song proves it with solid Led Zeppelin riffs and lyrics nobody cares too much about, Year Long Disaster made me rock a bit harder in the 00s.

18. I Just Wanna Love U by Jay-Z
Upon listening to this song you just feel cool as hell! It's a great rap for the gents like most of Jay-Z's action.




17. Wolf Like Me by TV On the Radio
This may be the only song that anybody ever hears from this band and it's enough. TV on the Radio composed a mysterious tune that sounds like the soundtrack to a very intense night.




16. American Idiot by Green Day
If you guessed Green Day would make a come back this big you are friggin' genius! Just when you thought punk was dead it proved that not only was it dead but it never wanted to be alive by selling millions and becoming MP3 Gold.



15. Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) by Beyoncé
Here is a song that has a life of it's own as a big club dance number, a song to make the ladies feel empowered when they ask where their fellas where the relationship is going and it even resurrected Bob Fosse to direct the video. This song may be forgettable in the future or it may go on to be the most memorable song of the decade as it can be played at weddings; who knows.

14. Sheena Is A Parasite by The Horrors
One of the shortest songs on the countdown (1:42) and possibly paying tribute to the Ramones' "Sheena is a Punk Rocker", The Horrors assault you with muffled and spiteful lyrics, drum n' bass and an organ that makes all the difference. If a song can be haunted this one has a poltergeist.

13. Distant Dreamer by Duffy
A song that was never a single but really should have been, Distant Dreamer is the best song on Duffy's album, "Rockferry". She muses about life and what she wants but will never have in wonderful blue eyed soul fashion.



12. Feel Good Inc. By Gorillaz
A sick laugh followed by a sick ass bass line; this is what makes this song come to life while the nonsense chorus about windmills is the hook that you start singing a few hours later. Like Gorillaz breakthrough single, Clint Eastwood there is also a rap that is thrwon out there for some sort of wishful street cred that never arrived but gets the buts on the floor.

11. Hey Ya! by Outkast
If you are a woman and don't like this song, you are alone. Andre 2000 sings a bunch of lines men wish they thought up to sing to the ladies and that's because he's sexier and smarter than you. Hey Ya! is a modern song with a classic feel that makes you clap along.

Dead Stars: Brittany Murphy Addition

Starlets die; it is a sad fact of life. My favorite Brittany Murphy moment would be some of the voice work she did on "King of the Hill" as Luanne, as well as her vocals on "Faster Pussycat" a track on a Paul Olkenfold album. As far as her films were concerned I can't say that I have a favorite roll butu she will always be known for being Clueless.